I have a Krippe!!!

Yess we signed a contract with a Krippe. Our baby will start in July, seven and a half months old. Not perfect because I go back to work in mid-May, and my husband goes back to work in mid-June, but we will see how we manage the last weeks of June.
I like very much the place. Philosophy and concept is very good, I can leave the baby from 8 to 9am, and we can pick her up from 5.30 to 6pm. It is walking distance from home. The food is all good quality and they eat three times per day. I liked specially that most of the kids are all day, which is an exception in Bavaria, so is not that she stays alone waiting for us! It is a full day program, and meets kids whose parents also work full time. It is also good that there are more kids with international environment. It costs 820 euro per month, which is more expensive than other Kitas or Elterninitiativen, but I do not have any signal that I would get a place in any of those, so I really appreciate they can take my baby younger than one year old. In all the other places children are taken with at least one year old, and many times childcare is from the morning to 4pm.
I think it is a great chance and she is going to learn a lot, make new friends, and explore the world!

Baby girls are "Pretty & Perfect" , baby boys are "Cool & Clever"

I have discovered today the http://manvspink.com blog and I got inspired to talk about my shopping experience last weekend. My little baby is 3 months old but she already needs clothes for 6 months, so it was time to buy some clothes.
I just wanted to buy some basic underwear. I went to Zara and I saw that they had two types of body sets: one for boys and one for girl. It is ok, I also do not shop in Zara Man section. But then I saw the messages of the clothes:

The girls had the message "Pretty & Perfect" (btw...who wants to be perfect?). The ones for the boys "Cool & Clever". I was of course about to buy the "Cool & Clever" for my little girl, but I decided I would not sponsor in any way these kind of clothes.

Apart from that, all the pijamas for girl were about princesses, with messages such as "it's not easy being a princess".

I went to other shop and it was quite similar, the pijamas for the boys were with "The Genius of the family", and the ones of girls also had the message that is difficult to be a princess.

There were still some clothes from carnivals, and all the area for boys was with Superheroes and the ones of the girls with Princesses. Even the underwear for little kids is so different:

I don't mean that I want that my daughter is dressed as a boy, because I do not dress like a man. Everybody has their style and can be different. However, I am scared that we have these messages since we are born! I do not want my daughter to think she is going to be a little princess and super heroes are for boys. I do not want her to think that she has to find a prince to protect her, or that she can not get what she wants by herself. I know this is just the beginning - it will happen with toys for girls/toys for boys which are defined by gender stereotypes, with books, cartoons and so on. How can we look for an equal society, when we are already sending these messages to the little ones?

Great things of being mom in Germany: Financial Help and Paternal Leave

One of the reasons why many families decide that the mother stays at home is because of the great financial help that families get with the baby.
How long is the maternity leave in Germany? It really depends on the family! In summary:

• The mom has by law a period of "maternity protection" (Mutterschutz), where she receives 100% of her salary, and it is from 6 weeks before the due date, to 8 weeks after due date. In total 14 weeks. The dates are set around the due date and are not flexible. I asked to my HR department if I could start my Mutterschutz later, so it would end later, and I would get my salary for a longer time, as anyway I was feeling great and I work from home, but the answer was NO, by law I had to stop working six weeks before. If the baby is born before the due date, mom has still maternity protection eight weeks after due date. If baby is born after due date, mom has maternity protection eight weeks after birth date, so will be more than 14 weeks in that case. I know that in other countries, for example Spain, the maternity leave covers the 100% of salary and starts when the baby is born, so mother have the 100% of their salary during four months after baby is born, and if they take leave before it is medical leave. 
• Then comes the paid "parental leave"(Elternzeit). These are 14 months that both parents can take, maximum 12 months one person. In my case, my husband took one of these months when the baby was born, and I think is a great idea because this way we were two taking care of her, and also is great for him and bonding with the baby. He is planning to take another two months at a later stage so we can travel together. During this period, the parents get the 67% of their salary with a maximum of 1800 euros neto, and minimum of 300 euros (unless they earn 250k per year as a single parent or 500k as a couple - then they do not get anything). So now comes the maths: If a person stays at home and gets for example 1500 euros, and the alternative is to go to work and pay 800 euros for daycare, it does not really pay off. I believe world would be more equal if mothers and fathers would share the Elternzeit, but the reality is that most of the times the mother takes 12 months and father a maximum of 2. Even HR in my company wrote me that when they informed me about Elternzeit - "fyi usually a mother stays one year at home and father 2 months". Would not be better to share it equally?
• After the paid months, there is an optional extended Elternzeit that is not paid, until the baby is 3 years old. The company has to keep your job position during that time. It is also possible to ask to move the third year to a later stage, until the child is 8 years old. I have done that: I wrote an email asking to move it, I do not have to say the date yet, I just keep it open in case I need to take some months in the future.
• Another financial support is the Kindergeld. This is 184 euro per month for one child, 368 euro for two children, 558 euro for three children and 215 euro for each more child. We get this money transferred each month to our bank account. This money is until the baby is 18 years old, or 25 if does not work yet!

In our case, I decided to take four months of Elternzeit: so I have two months of Maternity Protection after baby is born + the four months of Elternzeit, and I am back to work when baby is six months old. My husband took one month in the beginning and will take two more months later, so one month we are both free and we plan to travel with our baby, and in his last month my transition to job is smoother and hopefully we find a Kita and he can do the "adaption time".

The Mother 'Hood Official Video

This video made my day! I found it very funny and realistic.

It would be so easy if everybody would understood that we are all parents trying to do what we believe is best for our families and kids.
I have to justify all the time why I come back to work, and I always try to be very respectful with the rest and I just give my reasons, never challenging if their option is the best. In the end some days I end up very frustrated and annoyed and I write this blog ;)
This video is so right, and makes so ridiculous the parents that are criticising other ways of parenthood, that I will send it to anybody who starts again challenging me.