My thoughts about Frauenquote

I am happy that gender equality is a hot topic. Last week was International Women's Day, in the Oscars Patricia Arquette asked for the end of the Gender Gap or many celebrities have asked to Merkel to take into account that poverty is sexist when thinking of the new political measures in the G7. 
I am completely aware that the situation is incredibly thought in poor countries, and I feel lucky that I live in Europe and I could study what I wanted and work in the job I like. Maybe because I have been so lucky, and because my parents made no differences between my brother and me,  I am so shocked now about the expectations that german society has for me since I am a mother. 
I also feel no surprise when I watch the debates about why there are so few women in leading positions in Germany. During the last weeks a new law has been approved, and from 2016 there will be "Frauenquote"/ Women-quota in the boards of companies in Germany. Good or bad? The facts are:

• Very few women have leader positions in Germany (and Merkel does not count, because she does not have kids ;) ).

• The gender gap is higher in Germany than in other countries in Europe.

• The efforts of fixing this situation have failed, so another solution is needed.

So I would say it is good keeping in mind that a quota exists to disappear. If voluntarily not many women are invited to join boards, there should be a law in place. When having women in boards is the norm, a quota will not be needed anymore. And there is existing talent to fill those boards, so it is not a matter that women are not well prepared.
However, as a not-(yet)-Board-eligible-woman what is shocking for me is that there is this huge debate about the women on Company Boards. Shouldn't the debate be focus in how to make easier for any woman to make compatible a career with a family in Germany? In the end most of the women who can get to the Boards are the ones who can afford elite education or expensive childcare.
In my view, the solutions to have more working women in Germany who progress in their career (and eventually join Boards) would be:

• Education from the school. For example, programs to explain in High Schools how women can achieve great jobs or be interested in degrees like Engineering or Business. This will also minimise the Rabenmutter concept. It is a fact that german society makes a woman feel very bad when you want to go back to work. We need the women back to work and not to assume since they are young they will eventually get a minijob when kids are older!

• Krippes, krippes!! Once you are a mom, you need to find affordable daycare for your baby (or daycare at all, depending where you live). As I have been telling in this blog, I have applied to 22 Krippes in Munich and I feel blessed I got one that accepts my baby. I have to pay 820 euros per month for it. Most of the Krippes accept babies that are at least one year, and many of them only half a day. Many women can not afford a solution and they stay at home. 

• School and daycare when kids are older. I am being told that when my daughter is in Grundschule it will be even worse because she will be home at 1pm. I still did not think about this yet, but again this is another example that Germany makes it very difficult to combine work with children.

• I believe maternity leave is just an anecdote in the career life. I do not feel I have lost any knowledge in these six months of maternity leave. I would encourage men and women to take both parental leave. It is very common here that a woman takes 12 months and the man does not, when they can actually share it. It would be great if the men would also take a minimum of paternal leave, because employers will not have problems hiring women or men if they both will take the leave anyway.

• In the companies, female employees should be encouraged in their careers. To be honest, when I look around in the company I work for, I see it is an exception that a woman is a manger, and that is discouraging. Companies should not focus only to hire externally to fill the gap in the Board. The focus has to be also in middle management, in the employees. And the way to do it is not usually with a law, but with bonus to the Executives or Heads of Department to do it.

• And of course, women should be paid exactly like their men peers! THAT should be prosecuted by law: how can male and female employees be paid differently if they have the same position in the same company? How are you going to encourage a woman to continue with her career if she is paid less than her male colleagues and she has to do acrobatics to balance her life with her work?

So in summary, quota is a step but is not the final solution. I think it would be more effective that there are measures that companies pay same salary to men and women, that men take also parental leave, that everywhere in Germany childcare is offered at a fair price, and that there are programs to encourage young girls to pursue a career.

I have a Krippe!!!

Yess we signed a contract with a Krippe. Our baby will start in July, seven and a half months old. Not perfect because I go back to work in mid-May, and my husband goes back to work in mid-June, but we will see how we manage the last weeks of June.
I like very much the place. Philosophy and concept is very good, I can leave the baby from 8 to 9am, and we can pick her up from 5.30 to 6pm. It is walking distance from home. The food is all good quality and they eat three times per day. I liked specially that most of the kids are all day, which is an exception in Bavaria, so is not that she stays alone waiting for us! It is a full day program, and meets kids whose parents also work full time. It is also good that there are more kids with international environment. It costs 820 euro per month, which is more expensive than other Kitas or Elterninitiativen, but I do not have any signal that I would get a place in any of those, so I really appreciate they can take my baby younger than one year old. In all the other places children are taken with at least one year old, and many times childcare is from the morning to 4pm.
I think it is a great chance and she is going to learn a lot, make new friends, and explore the world!

Bad news again...

Not a good day today.
I went to day to the Krippe, as I had been told we were selected and we had a contract ready to sign.
I was feeling so lucky, and just going there and wanted to ask a couple of things my husband thought about, like the Betreeungsschlüssel.
I got the contract in my hands, I was explained that per 12 kids they have always 2 adults and there are other people helping around, I was about to leave, and then I said "the contract is from June, isnt it?".
And NO, it was not. She told me that when I visited her she was meaning to start in September. I replied I did the Voranmeldung with starting date 1st of June, and I was assuming that if she called me is because she was looking for a kid from that date. It is January, and I know other Krippes call in April/May for September. I was also talking about leaving my kid with 6 months  - if this was in September, she would not be born yet, and she was with us!Anyway, a misunderstanding.
Then she took the contract from my hands, and said she had to rethink it. I told her I could read the contract meanwhile to see the rest of terms, but she did not give it back to me.

I am very tired as I am thinking in the Krippes since last March, since I saw a positive in the pregnancy test, and I am not sure if I will be closer to a Krippe contract than today. I do not understand why in all the registration forms they ask about entrance date, when is only possible to start in September in Munich (maybe they just want to know the year, as seems takes years to have a place!).
In the end because of this system, I understand women stop working, there is nowhere to leave the kids if you want to work again after six months. Even when you are willing to pay a fortune (you have no other option). This only happens in Germany aagh! Is this the way they have to ensure low rates of unemployment, making it impossible to the women to work once they have children? Because is not well seen that the man takes the leave - my husband taking three months is an exception.

Let's see if they find a solution as the person responsible of the Krippe told me that would phone me again. But I do not see it coming.

About Personalschlüssel and Kitas

I am VERY excited that we got selected for a Krippe. Here in Munich is like finding an apartment - takes lot of time, you have to pass an interview, it is very hard, you pay lot of money and still you feel so lucky. I still cannot believe it!
I got the phone call this morning, and tomorrow I will get the Vertrag (contract). I have one week to read it and then I will go to a contract discussion session.
I was so happy until my husband, who is more critical than me, asked me about the Personalschlüssel or Betreuungsschlüssel. In other words, the ratio of kids per adult. I am not sure, I had such a good feeling when I visited it, I like the philosophy, the premises, the atmosphere I saw, I like that I have found good reviews in Internet of other parents, that they take most of the kids full time, they have international environment, it is the only I have seen that would take a baby under 10 months and exactly the day we want, a great garden...why should I worry so much about that? am I too happy and my german man too cautious? If they are professional, I am sure they have a right rate of babies per adult.
So I have started a bit of research.
My first holy source of information are my girlfriends with babies in Kitas. In my home country this is very normal, and I got answers from three adults for 25 kids from 0-3 years old; other told me that one adult per 8 babies, etc. I asked to a friend in Munich who was visiting many Kitas and said it was normal to find two adults per class of 10-12 kids, or 3 if one is "praktikantin".
The second source was searching in other websites and appear that the ratio in Germany is 4,8 - in Bayern 4.
I will ask tomorrow what is the exact ratio for mine. I hope this is not a problem for us to sign a contract.

A bit of progress

I am very happy because I see a bit of progress! One of the Kitas asked me for an interview. I spent one hour there. I visited the premises, learned about how they work, what is offered for kids and parents etc. Overall I had a very good impression. I was also asked many questions: where do I work, where does my partner work, what we think about general things, etc. The host told me that will give her feedback to the pedagogue of the centre and they will come back to us in a couple of weeks if we get a place.
I liked a lot the place. For me the main things were that there are children with international environment and that most of the kids are full day in the Kita. In Germany is very usual that some kids are only 3-4 hours in the morning and a few stay longer in the day. Many people have told me "Ohh it is so sad when only a couple of kids stay abandoned in the afternoons in the Kitas". Well, in this Kita most of the kids stay full time and there is a full day program so moms are Rabenmutters like me, which is a plus! They are also one of the few Kitas that take kids from months, so they have experience with them. And the whole concept of their philosophy, their activities, the garden, the rooms...also convinced me.
Lets see what happens! Fingers crossed!
As I believe it is absolutely fine to look for daycare for my baby, we shared it with our families. My husband and me explained together to my family in law about it. Then there were a couple of comments, only directed to me:

• "Do you enjoy being with your baby?". What question is this? So do they think I want a full day because I do not enjoy my baby? I enjoy being with my baby more than anything else! But I have my reasons!
• Other relative started hugging the baby: "oooh I am so sorry for her...she is going to feel lonely and get sick....ooh I am so sad" (and repeated the "I am so sad" like 10 times - what a drama queen).

I will soon have a new post of things you should never say to a working mom!
Anyway I am just focusing on my baby, on how happy she is going to be, how much she is going to learn, and I keep looking my phone to see if the Kita phones me to confirm the place!

Kitas!

When I found out I was pregnant, I started registering for Kitas, or daycare for the baby before she is 3 years old. This was in March 2014, and I am looking for a place from June 2015. I still did not get any answer at all, and I am afraid I do not have any chance before September 2015, which it would be fine.
In total we are registered in 18 places in Munich:

• In the state kitas. This is almost impossible, we were told that they have over 1000 kids applying for 24 places. The price changes: if the family income is less thank 15k euros, it is for free; but if it is more than 60k, it is around 421 euros. More information: http://www.muenchen.de/rathaus/Stadtverwaltung/Referat-fuer-Bildung-und-Sport/Kindertageseinrichtungen/gebueren-buchungszeiten.html 
• Caritas Kita. This seems also very difficult. The day I went to register were so many women there, and when I asked how long was the waiting list they just laughed at me. The link to find the closest Caritas Krippe is http://www.caritas-nah-am-naechsten.de/Kindertagesstaetten/Kindertageseinrichtungen-Muenchen/Page011263.aspx. 
• Private Kitas. When I have been visiting them there were only a couple of other mothers, but they did not give us also any hint if we would have a place or not, or how long is the waiting list. There are a few around us. The prices are around 800 euros, including food and in some cases diapers.
• Elterninitiativen. These are daycare places led by the parents of the babies. I found them in this website http://www.elterninitiativen-muenchen.de/, but most of them are for kids that are over a year and a half or two years old. Parents are expected to have responsibilities, such as managing the waiting list, organising events of the Kita, going shopping, etc. Around 6 or 7 hours per month are expected. I think this is very interesting. The price is more expensive than the state kitas, but cheaper than the private ones - around 500 euros.

I contacted them this week again, and only a couple of them answered saying that will contact us around April-May if we are selected, and starting date would be september/october...

I have to start thinking in plan B: Tagesmutter. I will focus in finding a Tagesmutter next week.

Trying to find a Kita!

I had already heard that it was a challenge to find a Kita in Munich. The Kita is the daycare for babies until they go to Kindergarden with 3 years. When I found out I was pregnant, I started to register for different Kitas around my place. I did it literally as soon as I knew I was pregnant, so not even my mother knew she was going to be upgraded to Grandmother, and my future baby was already registered in many Kitas. I did this in March, and my baby was born in November. Today is January, and I still do not have any answer that I will have a place at all.
One of the challenges is that there are not so many, or there are many that do not take babies younger than 1 year old or 2 years old. There are also some that only offer service until 3pm, which is not compatible with our jobs. The waiting list is also very long, it can take up to two years, isn't it incredible? This only makes sense in this country because many women take two years of maternity leave. In my case, I was registered in March 2014, and I want to find something from June 2015, which is after one year and three months and my baby will be more than six months old, but I don't have much hope to find anything to be honest! In all the Kitas I have been told that there is a long queue, that they cannot promise me there will be a place and so on.
The prices change. The public Kita was the cheapest. I already forgot the price, because I can only remember that we were told that they have 24 places and over 1000 registrations for next year, so it would be a miracle (and what a pity because it is so close to us!). The other Kitas are around 500 to 800 euros per month, and food can be around 80 to 100 euros extra per month. So yes, I believe that opening a Kita is a great business in Munich. I guess that if they were more expensive, they would also be full and with a long waiting list, as there are not enough.
In summary, I think that apart that is not well seen, it is a big challenge to go back to work because there is not enough daycare. It is also very expensive, so many families may think that does not compensate to pay that if the salaries are not high enough. I have no idea how I would solve our situation, my strategy is to start calling and writing to all the Kitas again from today until I get a positive answer! Fingers crossed! There are other alternatives: Tagesmutter or to hire a nanny, and I will talk about those in the next posts.